Men and women need both love and respect. To say that a man needs only respect and not love is a false and damaging belief.
A man’s deepest desire is to feel respected by his wife. He also loves words of adoration. He thrives on praise, like a home-cooked meal.
- Listen to him
Men need to feel encouraged, especially if they are feeling insecure. Providing affirmation in areas that matter most to him (career path, business/ministry pursuits, attractiveness etc) is one of the best things you can do.
Affirming him is also a form of respect. You can do this by listening to him, asking questions about his goals/aspirations, and encouraging him in the areas that he is excelling at.
However, it is important to avoid nagging him. This is a big turn off for most men. The best way to encourage him is by giving a reassuring touch, such as holding his hand or neck rubs. The more he feels accepted and appreciated by you, the more he will be encouraged to talk with you about his feelings.
- Appreciate his efforts
Men love to hear when you think their efforts are worthy of praise. If they’ve been working extra hard to uplift other people or help their community, let them know you admire their selflessness.
It can be easy to take your man’s efforts for granted, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. Make sure they know you value their commitment to their family, friends and work.
The concept of respect has many different forms or kinds, and much philosophical work has focused on examining differences and links between them. For example, some scholars have argued that respect for persons should involve valuing their individual identities and differences (moral recognition respect) and the fact that they matter morally (moral standing or moral considerability). Other forms of respect include toleration, compassion, and esteem.
- Support his ideas
Men want to feel essential, and they need their partners to respect their hero instinct. James Bauer talks about how to trigger this in his new free video here.
In a professional survey Shaunti Feldhahn surveyed men about what they wanted from their wives in terms of respect. The men surveyed reported that a respectful wife didn’t always agree with him but did respect his judgment.
A man who respects you will make you feel safe physically and emotionally. It might be something as simple as picking you up when your car has a flat tire instead of going out with his friends. It could also be as big as standing up for you when your boss hits on you. A good man will respect your decisions and opinions, but he will also give you space when you need it.
- Be there for him
Men need someone who will help them process their emotions. Often times, when we hear someone talk about something that is bothering them, our instinct is to try and solve the problem. This classic mistake can backfire, making the person feel like we don’t take them seriously.
Instead, when he is complaining about a difficult project at work or that coworker who drives him crazy, offer possible solutions and reassure him that everything will be okay. This can make him feel loved and valued by you.
Also, surprise him with small gestures of love and care. For example, replace his deodorant when it runs out or cook him his favorite meal. These little acts will show him that you are always thinking of him.
- Give him space
Guys need space to be able to pursue things they enjoy and not feel overwhelmed by the demands of a relationship. Having personal space is important for mental and emotional health, and it helps to prevent emotional co-dependence.
When a guy says that he needs some space, your first instinct may be to worry that the relationship grim reaper is about to pay a visit. However, the best thing to do is to take this as a warning sign and figure out what you want from the relationship.A man needs respect not love
